You're always one step ahead of me
Never gone even when you leave
Bang my head against the wall
Never thought I'd need to compete
Against you for the confidence
Of people you will never meet

They're only worried 'cause they love me
Sometimes I scare myself as well
They say I'll get sick if I stay here
It's pretty chilly down in Hell

I've got a Christ complex for the ages
I would kill myself to be a guardian angel
I got pretty close when I got pretty close to you
I know my record isn't clean
Painted them a you I wanted you to be
But fantasies are commonplace for girls of nineteen
Now my best friend doesn't believe me
Now my best friend doesn't believe me

Well I mean who'd expect a whole mind and body wrecked
By a man who never deigned to lay a finger yet
On his silly little side-project
Nothing written, nothing seen, robbed of my vocabulary
Left unable to explain
You walked away with your hands clean

They're only worried 'cause they love me
Sometimes I scare myself as well
They beg me not to stay here
Watch me turn into a shell

I've got a Christ complex for the ages
I would kill myself to be a guardian angel
I got pretty close when I got pretty close to you
I know my record isn't clean
Painted them a you I wanted you to be
But fantasies are commonplace for girls of nineteen
Now my best friend doesn't believe me
Now my best friend doesn't believe me

You said my worst flaw is that I'm an optimist
Destined forever to be disappointed
No antidote for my sickness
A clever girl innocence makes witless
Maybe you're right
I thought there was good in you
Maybe you're right
I've never been more disgusted with the truth
You made me speak a language
No one else could speak
You gave me a heartache
Nobody understands but me
No one believes me
'Cause you make me sound insane
I've learned I'm not the first
But I'll never know their names

I'm not lying
I'm not
I'm not lying
I wish
I was lying
I wish
I was lying

I've got a Christ complex for the ages
I would kill myself to be a guardian angel
I got pretty close when I got pretty close
To you to you to you
And I know my record's far from clean
Painted them a you I believed you to be
You'll tell them that it's all in my head
They'll accept it with no protest
You told me fantasies for kids are commonplace
But time to grow up I'm 23
After all
My best friend doesn't believe me
After all
My best friend doesn't believe me
After all
My best friend doesn't believe me
Sometimes I don't believe me